Executing The Act of Dying With Ultimate Kit-Class

When you die, the key is what kind of a rebirth you are going to have. As you probably know, the Enlightenment Cycle consists of tens of thousands of lives as a human, followed by 108 lives as a Scottie, and then 9 lives as a Cat before full enlightenment is attained.

So if you're a human, you want to reincarnate as a Scottie next time around to accrue some better karma. So naturally you want to pass through the Scottie Bardo after death and before your reincarnation. As you approach death, make friends with as many Scotties as possible. Meditate on the pictures of Scotties and make sure you treat your Scotties well.

If you're already a Scottie, remember that Cats and Dogs need not be enemies. Learn to live in harmony with the Cats in your world so that they will be pleasantly predisposed to accepting you into their spiritual community next incarnation. Cats are close to Enlightenment, so their true feelings cannot easily be distinguished, but as long as you don't piss them off too much, they will accept you as a student after a few lifetimes.

And finally, if you're already a Cat, then the final volume of my forthcoming guide, The Ninth Incarnation: The Feline Guide to Enlightenment, which should be out this summer, will tell you everything you need to know about the advanced esoteric feline techniques for reaching the highest states of enlightenment.

This book, of course, will be available only on a psychic basis--canines and humans are generally too low-vibe to pick up the high-vibe thoughts of us felines, so the book will be unavailable to you in its entirety. If you continue to treat us Cats well, though, we may share excerpts of this book on this most excellent (for humans) Web site from time to time.

Mooshke the Enlightened
(some might say Pompous)
Cat