Brahma Dung Ananda

Dear Swami Brahma Dung Ananda, Greatest Guru and Spiritual Teacher whose Spiritual Seeing is only surpassed by your wisdom which is only surpassed by your humility... Or was it the other way around?... Whatever.

My name is Sri Guru Ananda. This wonderful name was given to me last year at a meditation workshop by a Guru that was visiting from India. The workshop was great and only cost me $1,000. At the special session following the seminar I was given this Spiritual name. The special spiritual naming session only cost me $500.

I have had new stationary and business cards made out with this wonderful new name.

I was wondering if you could enlighten me as to how spiritual names are given and the best way to use them.

Sincerely,

Sri Guru Ananda

Dear Sri,

Your greeting is acceptable and you have indeed come to the right Swami to be enlightened about anything. My humble wisdom is unsurpassed.

First I must consult the Spirit Guide Jack Daniel's to move my awareness to the proper perspective.... I welcome the fiery breath of The Spirit Guide Jack Daniel's into my holy temple... Nic Nic Nic. Whew!

Yes... It is all becoming clear... Now lets see about this spiritual name business... Humm... Spiritual names are usually given to a student in order to give focus to a aspiring trait or way of being. The name is usually given with an accompanying recommendation that, when followed, will cause the recipient to enter into a whole new experience of life...

As I turn my inner gaze into your inner most being I can perceive all things... I can see that your name is bogus because the so called Guru was bogus. I know this because of the silly name he gave you. Another clue is the optional missing recommendation.. The Spirit Guide Jack Daniel's assures me that my seeing is correct!

I in all my wisdom and grace will correct this immediately. As I consult the Spirit Guide.... Nic Nic Nic. Whew!

Yes it is all clear to me now. I can see the aspiring that you need to have for Enlightenment. Your new spiritual name shall be... Billy Bob!

The recommendation that I give you is to immediately rid yourself of your earthly belongings in a yard sale and move to Boise, Idaho. Once there you should sell outdoor camping equipment. This new name and it's accompanying recommendation is guaranteed to shift your awareness and change your whole life into a much higher spiritual direction!

I look forward to hearing from you again Billy Bob! In the mean time, you can send me my spiritual renaming fee of $39.25.

Brahma Dung Ananda has Seen and Foretold!