Brahma Dung Ananda

Dearest Webmistress:

My but it was good to hear that my return to the Lila of Rama Ashram would be welcomed by you. I never had a doubt! After all, I am the Official In-House-Guru. I realize how difficult it must be for you considering all the intense feelings you have for me. Your devotion has not gone unnoticed!

Thank you once again for that fine going away sendoff! I enjoyed myself intensely right up to the dumpster bonfire, the fine nude Dharmic Dance that Sharing, Crazy Peg and you did and especially the flashing red and blue lights at the end. I have always wanted to ride on one of these huge Fire Trucks! Alas, my inner being knew that all good things must come to an end and so we left.

The trip to the Third World Country of Texas was a spiritual pilgrimage indeed.

I awoke as we were going through Blyte. As I opened my eyes, I saw a gigantic bull deposit a huge pile of dung on the hood of the Yugo. As I watched this take place, I thought of my beloved guru. It was about 120 degrees and the whole essence of the experience soon brought me to a higher state of samadhi. Then the other bull urinated and the wind of the cattle trailer that we were sharing, whipped it around all the open windows of the holy Yugo… I was spun into an even higher state of samadhi.

About Buckeye, the heat dropped about twenty degrees as we passed through a desert thunderstorm. Unfortunately, it was still near 100 degrees and the humidity rose to almost 100 percent. As the second bull dropped his load on the hood of the Yugo, to join the rain-invigorated pile of the previous deposit, I was reminded of the wonderful ship of Samadhi that I meditated on in the Tropics. I recalled the elephant dung cargo and it’s effect on everyone. I only wish you could have been in the Yugo to share it with me. In record time, I was in Nirva Kalpa Samadhi!

At Wilcox, the bulls were unloaded so that they could exercise and eat and drink. Dusty pulled me out of the Yugo and Stoney hosed me down. It was wonderful. Soon I was running around the parking lot completely naked, waving my arms over my head shouting, Hari Rama, Hari Rama, Rama, Rama, Hari, Hari!

Dusty lassoed me and they covered me with a blanket. "He is a real piece of work," said Stoney, referring to my great spiritual status.

We walked over to a nearby Temple of Golden Arches where I was guided to an outside table, near the play area. As Dusty returned with a Happy Meal for me, I pointed out how everyone had noticed my powerful aura and had moved respectfully away.

"It's true," said Stoney, "especially down wind"

"Our cattle truck has that same powerful essence too," said Dusty. Sure enough, as I looked at the cattle truck, everyone seemed to give it a respectable space… especially down wind.

Soon we were on the road again. We didn't stop until we reached Pecos. Here the boys went over to a Dairy Queen and returned with a complete chicken fried steak dinner complete with mashed potatoes and gravy. It was a meal fit for a king… or in this case, a humble, yet fully enlightened Avatar.

I am sorry to have to cut this short. I will write more about my arrival here in this third world country later… I hear the sound of several pickups coming up the road. It is Cletis, Dusty and several others. I can hear them yelling, "Yippee!" And, "Yeeha!" It is a strange mantra that folks in this area say when they are having, or about to have, a good time!

Brahma Dung Ananda has spoken!