Brahma Dung Ananda

Dearest Brahma Dung Ananda, Greatest and most wonderful Guru in, like, the whole Universe! Bearer of the Eternal Flame and Prophet of Prophets, Healer of Healers and Grandest of all Grand Things. Wonderful Avatar and Compassionate Teacher to the vile and lowly human race…. I hope this greetings makes up for my previous one…

Oh Brahma! I am so confused! Last night I met a couple of Cletis’s friends, Stoney and Dusty. Wonderful Cletis had given them my pager number and we met at Venice Beach. They were wonderful! They wore like these great big hats and cowboy boots! I like just loved their foreign accent! Like, they were REALLY friendly. Because, like, I have the missionary position in this movement, I took it upon myself to instruct them into the light. Like it was really great! They seemed most appreciative and, like, even bought me breakfast at my favorite place, Denny’s, the next morning. Cletis sure has some nice friends.

But, like, that wasn’t what confused me. Stoney said that they were going to transport you to Texas! Like, Wow! Like, did I do something wrong… Like if I did, please let me know. I just couldn’t bear the thought that I ran you away! Like, tearfully yours, Sharing

Dearest Sharing,

My but it's good to read your greeting! It is a good feeling when I do a correction and someone actually follows the recommendations!

As for a me going to the backward country of Texas, believe me, it is not because of you! As a matter of fact, you and the Webmistress are the reasons that are making it hard to leave. The fact is, events of the last week has conspired to show me the wisdom of temporally relocating to this backward nation.

It is common for people who are in close proximity to me to become agitated and irritable. That is because my aura is so strong that they simply cannot handle it. For this reason, Fully Enlightened Teachers, such as myself, need to occasionally remove ourselves or these students from direct contact for a while.

Because of my great seeing, I know that the reasons for their irritation and discomfort are due to this intense interaction of my aura with their senses. So the Universe has provided for me a way to leave and later return, once the smoke clears and everyone’s vibrations have raised to better interface with my "intensity".

I look forward to this new adventure. I will load up my mystical Yugo and go on this holy pilgrimage in an appropriate way, befitting my advanced spiritual position. The boys should be returning from Bakersfield in a day or two and I will bid everyone farewell.

The Webmistress is throwing a going away party at the Ashram and I am inviting you to attend. Please make this a happy occasion… I am only going for a while and you can still email me anytime you wish… Cletis has assured me that they recently got electricity in Texas and that the Indians haven’t caused trouble in months! He laughed when he said this… I am not sure why.

Anyway, come to the party. The Webmistress has not been so happy since I have known her. This Dharmic pilgrimage has transported her into a reverie that is wonderful! I know that, underneath, she is going to miss me terribly. However, her grief of me going away has been overcome with the seeing the perfect plan of Eternity. I do believe that she sees the Dharma in all of this and that is why she is so energized.

See you at the party!

Brahma Dung Ananda has spoken!