Brahma Dung Ananda

As per your request: this confidential internal memo concerns the "Spirit Guide Incident" last Friday afternoon.

It was 1630 hours (that’s 4:30 PM). Numbnuts and I were doing our afternoon security watch when we observed a huge Liquor truck backing into the loading dock.

As the truck arrived, Brahma Dung Ananda emerged from the Ashram with a huge grin.

The truck honked twice signaling a delivery. The driver noisily opened the read door and unloaded several cases of Jack Daniel’s.

By this time the Webmistress and the Sin Say came upon the scene along with several of the Martial Arts Students.

As the Driver finished unloading, he turned and said, "I’m sorry that I am so late in the day. The traffic was terrible!" He looked around and said, "Here is the order for the Jack Daniel’s. I need a signature so I can get back to the warehouse."

"Who ordered this!", demanded the Webmistress as she glared at Brahma Dung Ananda.

"I didn’t take the order replied the driver. All that is written are the exact words when the order was placed. It says, "Please deliver 108 (a spiritual number) of the Spirit Guide 'Jack Daniel’s' to the Lila of Rama Ashram ASAP."

At this point everyone surrounded Brahma Dung Ananda. He was completely surrounded with no hope of escape. The Webmistress, shaking visibly as she glared at Brahma Dung Ananda screamed, "I wonder who is going to sign for all of this?!!"

"I am not too sure but I need a signature so I can be on my way," interjected the driver.

The Webmistress kept her glare directly on Brahma Dung Ananda, "So who is going to sign and pay for this?!" she repeated.

At this point Brahma Dung Ananda made gestures as though he were trying to retrieve a wallet from his hip. This went on for about two minutes and then he smiled, turned gold… then he turned the brightest white you ever saw and then he disappeared!!! There was just his robe hanging in the air like in one of those old Invisible Man movies. Then his underwear fell to the ground and then his multicolored robe!… There was that strange stench that is associated with His Holiness, that lingered in the air for short time… Brahma Dung Ananda and his sandals were gone!!!

It was at this moment that the driver said, "Thanks Miss Webmistress. It’s been a real pleasure doing business with you folks. Looks like you have the makings of a real good party here!" With that he climbed into his truck and left.

The Webmistress and the Sin Say both looked at the receipt. Sure enough it had the Webmistress’ signature on it!

Amazing as it sounds, I must confess to being a witness of the power of Brahma Dung Ananda. As I figure it, during his travels, he developed the siddha of "Fumbling for the wallet until someone else picked up the check and then disappearing" and also the siddha of "Manifesting someone else’s name on the check."

These events left everyone amazed and in wonder… or in the case of the Webmistress, confused and pissed…

I attest to the Truth of these events.

Stoneface
Head of the Ninja Security Guards