Brahma Dung Ananda

Dear Brahma Dung Ananda, Oh great and glorious bearer of the holiest of holies. Teacher and preserver of the Eternal Light and comfort to those who are all backed up… I hope I have sucked enough.

I have read about how Enlightened Teachers and Avatars, such as yourself, many times suffer by taking on the sins of their devotees and friends… Do you ever do that?

Your Devotee,

Larry in Las Vegas

Dear Vegas Larry,

Yes as a matter of fact! Why just this past week, after returning from a pilgrimage into the desert to commune with the Spirit Guides with some friends, I returned to the news that some exuberant and enthusiastic martial arts students, who recently moved next to the holy shrine that is my living quarters, had tried out their martial arts skills on my trusty Yugo. The holy power of my aura along with that of the Yugo itself, protected it from any serious harm.

I am, of course, incapable of feeling any anger or need for revenge. I am much too advanced to stoop to such low, vile states of mind.

I could not help but smile, when my pajama clad friend, who is the head of the Dojo, had these misguided souls running and doing pushups into the wee hours of the morning. In fact, there was a glorious moment, when the young scoundrels had been walking like ducks for an hour when I walked past my pajama clad friend and we did a "high five"!

I was in such good humor at all of this activity, that I invited Stoneface over to consult the foreign spirit guide, "Jose Cuervo". It was quite a success. In less than an hour, Stoneface and I were speaking fluent Spanish! Of course neither he nor I could understand a word of what we said… much less walk or perform any other functions.

The next morning I awoke with the distinct feeling that the Ashram cat had defecated in my mouth! My head was feeling as though it were about to explode and my stomach was very queasy!

I immediately recognized that I had taken on the karma of those young rascals next door! As I purged myself of all impurities at the altar of the porcelain god, I kept them squarely in mind and forgave them.

So afterward I staggered outside and was met by my pajama clad friend and the beautiful webmistress. "Good Lord! What happened to you?", they exclaimed. In spite of my pain, I could not help but smile at their respectful greeting. Something inside me swells when I am referred to as "Good Lord!"

"It is nothing. I am just taking on the karma of those young lads who attacked my Yugo," I replied.

My Pajama Clad Friend looked grim. "I thought that all that exercise would teach them a lesson. I can see that they still have a lot to learn about holding in their power. Today will really be a workout! My most humble apologies great and wonderful Guru and bearer of the Eternal Light".

Well, maybe he didn't use all those endearing and respectful terms referring to me, but I picked it up intuitively as he bowed and headed for the Dojo.

The beautiful Webmistress just shook her head and said with deep respect, "I just can't believe you two!"

I smiled and said, "I understand your wonder; it is like that around great masters!"

Brahma Dung Ananda has spoken!