Brahma Dung Ananda

My Dear Brahma Dung Ananda,

I am sorry to report an unfortunate incident which occurred in the Lila of Rama Ashram Parking Lot this last weekend, during your brief absence. As you know the recent addition of the Dojo to the West Wing has created quite a stir of excitement and many students are once again responding enthusiastically to the call of the ancient arts of self defense.

This last weekend we were for some reason unable to locate the student who is the head of the Dojo. Word has it he was out on the desert on some very high mystical journey, and that of course is a very good thing.

In his absence (which strangely occurred on the same dates as your own absence) a group of about ten members of the Dojo fell out into the ashram parking lot and tried to take on the Yugo, which was, as always, parked near the trash bin. After a series of one on one encounters, it appeared the Yugo was winning. The group then mounted a spirited effort and employed both traditional and modern techniques to render the Yugo (if possible) less sightly recognizable than it was. Unfortunately for the group, the Yugo won. We had to call an ambulance to take a number of the sporting types away. A couple of them went back into the Lila of Rama Ashram with Stoneface who seemed to have some heavy medicine available for their pain, and the remaining few simply sat in meditation at the foot of the left rear tire of the Yugo and entered into enlightenment - rather quickly from what was outwardly perceivable (it could have been a state of stupor/exhaustion, we're still not sure).

We regret any damage to your personal possessions which this sudden and unexpected encounter may have caused, and hope to prevent such activities from occurring in the future.

Sincerely,
Webmistress

Dearest and Most Lovely Webmistress,

I read with great interest your account of the enthusiastic martial arts students that have recently moved next to this holy shrine of my living quarters. I understand the impetuousness of youth, especially since I was away in the desert communing with the Spirits Guides along with some of my friends from Venice Beach and this strange but friendly guy that just moved next to me at the Lila of Rama Ashram. He dresses in a strange pajama outfit and insisted on bowing a lot. OK with me, the guy can sure party! He actually broke up all the firewood with his bare hands, making him the, if you will pardon the pun, the hit of the bonfire meditation. Upon returning to the Ashram with me and getting your message he went with me out to the parking lot to examine my holy chariot and could really not perceive any damage. In fact, it seems that their efforts seemed to have actually straightened out a couple of dents that were on the hood and front fender! I did notice a couple of drops of what appeared to be blood near my rear broken window, but it could have been catsup that spilled during one of my return trips from the Temple of Golden Arches.

My pajama clad friend muttered with a fierce look on his face, "When the cat is away, the mice will play!"

I am sorry if anyone was injured... Someone should have told them of the karma of going against such an enlightened and holy Avatar such as my humble self! The Occult energy alone that is stored in my Chariot of Light is enough to send anyone into Samadhi...

Anyway, no harm, no foul.

By the way, tell Stoneface that due to his medicinal use of the magical elixir of the Spirit Guide, "Jack Daniel's", it is in sudden need of replenishment.

Brahma Dung Ananda has spoken!