Brahma Dung Ananda

Dear Dung, I am an ancient cousin of Porcelain Goddess. I, being older and more "fertilized", have a more serious minded question. You seem like an upbeat kind of guy. I mean, you hang out with sacred cows, which is very wise. I am really getting tired of this high tech society, with flush toilets. They have really gone too far with the censored flush toilet. I mean really. What happened to the days when you could stroll outside of an evening, bat the bees aside, and sit on top of the hill overlooking all that land? I yearn for those simple days, and wonder what advice you might give to a struggling seeker who yearns for a simpler way of life. Very Simply yours,

An Out House Message sent via laptop satellite.

Dear Cousin,

I am happy that the Porcelain Goddess is spreading the word of my greatness. She seemed to have overlooked telling you of the proper way to address such a great and Holy Avatar, such as I. I find that most westerners have a difficult time when it comes to properly sucking up such advanced spiritual teachers, such as I. Never the less, at least she is spreading the word of my greatness.

I read you letter with a great deal of interest. I too love to "go in nature". I just prefer the "natural back to the earth" approach.

In fact, there was quite a stir around here today when I overheard the gardener tell the Webmistress that he had put some fertilizer on garden. I chimed in that I had made a contribution myself just this morning!

The Webmistress seemed a bit upset. She yelled that I had better not ever do that again! I realized that she was having a overdose of Kundalini. I have that effect on many people. You would be surprised at how many times someone just goes off at me. It is just a byproduct of my intensely high spiritual vibe. I realize that enlightenment is not easy for some people to deal with. Especially when it is right under their noses! I forgave her of her angry outburst. It is natural for the ego to sometimes become irrational for no apparent reason when confronted with the Clear Light of the Holiest of Holies!

Later on Stoneface came by my quarters and we consulted with that great Spirit Guide, "Jack Daniel's" to seek ways of bringing peace to the Webmistress. Stoneface seemed to be particularly under the influence of the spirit guide and we both went outside and relieved ourselves in the garden. He then channeled the Great Spirit Guide and said that I needed to bury my contributions so that Mother Nature could accept them more readily. The clearness of his reasoning was so clear! I am sure that that Great Spirit Guide was once again at work!.

Thank you for your question. Perhaps you could send me a picture of you in a thong bikini so that I may meditate upon you. The Porcelain Goddess has probably told you of this little known practice of focusing Kundalini Energy. I am still awaiting her picture.

Brahma Dung Ananda has spoken!