Brahma Dung Ananda

Dear Mr. Brahma Dung Ananda,

Oh great seerer of the Infinite and barer of constant light and holy stuff! I have been reading your column on Ramalila.com and I am trying hard to get this spiritual etiquette thing down. I hope I have sucked up enough to you. Anyway, I was wondering if you have had any enlightening experiences while in public. And do you visit holy places very much. Seems like, if you visit different temples, there would be like a whole set of behaviors and stuff. Thanks Oh Great One!

Bernie in Burbank

Dear Bernie, My but it is refreshing to have someone like you, realize my greatness and I smile at your feeble attempts to address me in an Appropriate manner. Every thing seemed to be OK except that "Mr." thing. Somehow it just doesn’t seem to sound right. Your question is a good one. The answer is "Yes!" Why just this week Peter, one of my spiritual servants took me out to a local Temple that specializes in serving food. It has always been one of my favorites. I particularly enjoy the vibe from the golden arches and seating that allows me to observe the children injure or fight with each other in the Play Area. It always seems as though the Universe is giving me insights into the wisdom of my single lifestyle.

To continue, as I entered the restaurant, I paid respect to the god of this particular temple which stood near the doorway. It was a life size cardboard image of the Great God of fast food, Ronald. My servant whispered that I really didn’t need to prostrate myself in front of this image, but I continued to finish my bows of respect for at least four more times before I took my place at the table near the Play Area. Those who were present and observed my religious prostration’s, were truly impressed. They seemed to see the strength of my aura, being that they all moved at least two tables away, giving me a respected space. I am always astonished that people seem to innately recognize my stature in spiritual development.

Soon my faithful servant returned with my favorite, a happy meal with it’s own plastic god statuary. This one had a McFry. The aroma of the small hamburger and fries caressed my senses, I was transported into a joyous state of ecstasy! "Hari Ronald, Hari Ronald, Hari, Hari" I sang out loud. I immediately started to eat and pay homage to the small McFry god at the same time. I chanted "Mmmmm" and "Ahaaa!" with every bite. Soon everyone was watching and smiling. My inner joy seem to spread throughout the whole Golden Arches Temple and everyone seemed to be caught up in the ecstasy of the moment. Some were even pointing and laughing in our direction. It was truly a joyous moment. My faithful servant did mention something about going though a drive thru next time, but I think I shall always insist on coming inside this holy place.

Brahma Dung Ananda has spoken!