Dear BS,

I find it hard to believe that you are a big fan of mine and can still be so ignorant as to the etiquette that one should use when addressing such a magnificent, pure, holy, and humble Avatar such as myself. You failed to mention my "Swami" status in your greetings altogether. Such egregious faux pas can be overlooked seeing that you are indeed a beginner and have no spiritual social graces.

I am, however impressed with your primitive and yet hapless attempts at attaining an awareness without mental modifications. Perhaps I can address you futile attempts one at a time and see just where you went wrong.

First I consult the "Spirit Guide Jack Daniel's"... Nic! Nic! Nic!..Whew!

Ahem! Now as we see it, the Yugo is a grand and valid attempt at attaining enlightenment. It is a fine automobile that generates both laughter and humility at the same time! I like the idea of piling 7 babes into it for a trip to the mountains. Certain critical information was left out of your inquiry that would make a world of difference when planning such a trip. In order to obtain insight into this I must once again consult the "Spirit Guide Jack Daniel's"... Nic, Nic, Nic, ... Whew!

Yes! It is all becoming clear to me. I see that in order to get the most out of such a pilgrimage, one must make sure that the 7 babes are properly dressed. I can assure you that the chances would have been much better if they had the "Holy Thong Bikini" attire. This would have assured the success of this Holy Pilgrimage... That is if you were a man. Since I can clearly see through my mystical seeing and divination's (with the help of The Spirit Guide Jack Daniel's) that you are a woman. The whole idea of traveling to a mountain pilgrimage with 7 babes would, of course be totally useless, if it were not for the fact that I can see that you are a Lesbian! Perhaps a flaw in you plan was not to include 7 Babes wearing the "Holy Thong Bikini" attire who were not themselves Lesbians.

It only takes a couple of overlooked details such as this to ruin a perfectly good outing.

The mud pit in your suburban lawn would have been more enlightening if you had those 7 Bikini Thong babes wrestle in it...

I can see that you really need some help. I suggest that you invite these babes over and I will supervise the mud wrestling event myself... Perhaps I could even referee!

In the mean time meditate on the sacred mantra, Brahma Dung, Brahma Dung, Hari Hari, Brahma Dung and then send large monetary gifts to said holy Avatar.

As far as you question about Ford buying Land Rover... I am a little confused. I cannot help but wonder at your ignorance. Gerald Ford drives a Lincoln!

Swami Brahma Dung Ananda has Spoken!