|
Message |
| Posted By: |
Paki |
| Date: |
6-Nov-2002-00:07:54 |
| Subject: |
"Grace"... Redux |
Paki: (Knock)
UR1: Come in.
Paki: Ah, Is this the right room for an argument?
UR1: I told you once.
Paki: No you haven't.
UR1: Yes I have.
PAKI: When?
UR1: Just now.
PAKI: No you didn't.
UR1: Yes I did.
PAKI: You didn't
UR1: I did!
PAKI: You didn't!
UR1: I'm telling you I did!
PAKI: You did not!!
UR1: Oh, I'm sorry, just one moment. Is this a five minute argument or the full half hour?
PAKI: Oh, just the five minutes.
UR1: Ah, thank you. Anyway, I did.
PAKI: You most certainly did not.
UR1: Look, let's get this thing clear; I quite definitely told you.
PAKI: No you did not.
UR1: Yes I did.
PAKI: No you didn't.
UR1: Yes I did.
PAKI: No you didn't.
UR1: Yes I did.
PAKI: No you didn't.
UR1: Yes I did.
PAKI: You didn't.
UR1: Did.
PAKI: Oh look, this isn't an argument.
UR1: Yes it is.
PAKI: No it isn't. It's just contradiction.
UR1: No it isn't.
PAKI: It is!
UR1: It is not.
PAKI: Look, you just contradicted me.
UR1: I did not.
PAKI: Oh you did!!
UR1: No, no, no.
PAKI: You did just then.
UR1: Nonsense!
PAKI: Oh, this is futile!
UR1: No it isn't.
PAKI: I came here for a good argument.
UR1: No you didn't; no, you came here for an argument.
PAKI: An argument isn't just contradiction.
UR1: It can be.
PAKI: No it can't. An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.
UR1: No it isn't.
PAKI: Yes it is! It's not just contradiction.
UR1: Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position.
PAKI: Yes, but that's not just saying 'No it isn't.'
UR1: Yes it is!
PAKI: No it isn't!
UR1: Yes it is!
PAKI: Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes.
(short pause)
UR1: No it isn't.
PAKI: It is.
UR1: Not at all.
PAKI: Now look.
UR1: (Rings bell) Good Morning.
PAKI: What?
UR1: That's it. Good morning.
PAKI: I was just getting interested.
UR1: Sorry, the five minutes is up.
PAKI: That was never five minutes!
UR1: I'm afraid it was.
PAKI: It wasn't.
Pause
UR1: I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue anymore.
PAKI: What?!
UR1: If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to pay for another five minutes.
PAKI: Yes, but that was never five minutes, just now. Oh come on!
UR1: (Hums)
PAKI: Look, this is ridiculous.
UR1: I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid!
PAKI: Oh, all right.
(pays money)
UR1: Thank you.
short pause
PAKI: Well?
UR1: Well what?
PAKI: That wasn't really five minutes, just now.
UR1: I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid.
PAKI: I just paid!
UR1: No you didn't.
PAKI: I DID!
UR1: No you didn't.
PAKI: Look, I don't want to argue about that.
UR1: Well, you didn't pay.
PAKI: Aha. If I didn't pay, why are you arguing? I Got you!
UR1: No you haven't.
PAKI: Yes I have. If you're arguing, I must have paid.
UR1: Not necessarily. I could be arguing in my spare time.
PAKI: Oh I've had enough of this.
UR1: No you haven't.
PAKI: Oh Shut up.
(Walks down the stairs. Opens door.)
PAKI: I want to complain.
CGI_Guy: You want to complain! Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through.
PAKI: No, I want to complain about...
CGI_Guy: If you complain nothing happens, you might as well not bother.
PAKI: Oh!
CGI_Guy: Oh my back hurts, it's not a very fine day and I'm sick and tired of this office.
(Slams door. walks down corridor, opens next door.)
PAKI: Hello, I want to... Ooooh!
GOD: No, no, no. Hold your head like this, then go Waaah. Try it again.
PAKI: uuuwwhh!!
GOD: Better, Better, but Waah, Waah! Put your hand there.
PAKI: No.
GOD: Now..
PAKI: Waaaaah!!!
GOD: Good, Good! That's it.
PAKI: Stop hitting me!!
GOD: What?
PAKI: Stop hitting me!!
GOD: Stop hitting you?
PAKI: Yes!
GOD: Why did you come in here then?
PAKI: I wanted to complain.
GOD: Oh no, that's next door. It's being-hit-on-the-head lessons in here.
PAKI: What a stupid concept.
;-) |
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