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Message |
| Posted By: |
freespirit |
| Date: |
30-Sept-2000 |
| Subject: |
moments of perception |
" 'Do you think you could find, by yourself, a proper place for us to rest?' he asked.
I had no idea what the criterion for a 'proper place' was. He patiently explained that looking in short glances allowed the eyes to pick out unusual sights.
'Such as what?' I asked.
'They are not sights proper,' he said. 'They are more like feelings. If you look at a bush or a tree or a rock where you may like to rest, your eyes can make you feel whether or not that's the best resting place.'
("Journey to Ixtlan – The Lessons of Don Juan", Carlos Castaneda, pp 66-67)
***
Today was one of those days that I'm sure will pass through my mind in the moments of my death. One filled with those moments of spectacular realisation.
I dropped child-of-freespirit off at her father's home for the weekend, so it was now my time – time to be alone, to be with myself. Following the first week at my new job (THE dream job!) I promised myself that I'd relax, pamper myself, buy some CDs, do some reading, go to a café, take a walk in my favourite power place ...
First up, the simple things, I bought the CDs – two of my favourites - Portishead "Dummy" and Alice in Chains "Unplugged" - then did those girly pampering thingies (you know the mud facial and all that). Then headed up to my favourite café.
When I arrived it was quite cool and windy ... what a cosy place to be. So I sat down, basking in the wonderful energy of that place, and brought out "Journey to Ixtlan". A couple of cappuccinos, a spinach and ricotta filo, and two chapters later (5, "Assuming Responsibility" and 6, "Becoming a Hunter") I eventually left. I was feeling pretty high – I thoroughly understood what I had been reading and absorbing, and had had many laughs.
I knew the "seeing/feeling" thing that don Juan had spoken of. And I also knew very well the spiritual death that Castaneda had experienced at the hands of his teacher don Juan (end of chapter 6). For I too had experienced a different, however essentially similar, death myself many months earlier – one which has changed my life in unfathomable ways.
Anyhow, when I left the café, I was amazed that there was an incredible calm, and the sun was shining. In retrospect I wonder if it was all in my imagination! Was I on that much of a high that I had created this in my mind's eye?
So I jumped into my car, thought about going up to my favourite hiking place, but gave away the idea as it was 5pm, and was getting late.
Part of the way home I had one of those urgent feelings to get back there – so U-turn I did, and up that mountain I drove. I felt there wasn't enough time to do my usual walk, so I chose a new place. After about 20 minutes in a touristy part of the forest I still felt I really 'needed' to get up to my usual place – the place where my heart is home.
So again into the car ... once there I jumped out - I was so electrified. The entry to the trail was surrounded in little blue flowers, so beautiful. I stood there in awe of them. I'd never seen them there before. I headed down the trail – no people in eye or ear shot – just what I was after.
I headed along the track, listening to the calls of the local birds. I had a strong urge to climb to the top – where I usually stop to meditate and do my katas and combinations. I wanted to "look" at those specific spots, where I stop for these special moments of empowerment, from the don Juan perspective.
It was starting to get dark (though it was not due to be dark for a couple of hours). I know this track so well I decided to go ahead with the full walk anyway. I figured I'd be fine if it did get dark – what harm could I come to? I felt at home after all!
Wander, wander, wander ... further into the bush ... no people ... solitude ... peace ... just what I needed to feel cleansed and revitalised. I stood still, looking up to the skies, arms outstretched, surrendering myself to the forest as I always do. I felt myself dissolve.
Along the way I practiced that intuitive looking that Castaneda describes. I would notice things in my peripheral vision that were so enhanced I'd swear I was looking directly at them, and I observed the feelings I was experiencing with each. Then I'd look closely, focussed, to see what I saw from that perspective. It was pretty intense and a lot of fun.
As I wandered further into the forest, I noticed something really curious ahead of me – something across the path that I was unfamiliar with. As I got closer I realised it was one of the enormous Mountain Ash trees (which grow as tall as 100 metres), fallen across the narrow trail – completely blocking it. I clambered over and under its smashed branches to see how on earth it had fallen – such an incredibly huge tree, so out of place. I looked around. At that point I realised how incredibly windy it was. Of course this tree must have fallen in this wind!
Still standing within the branches of the fallen tree I heard a sudden rustling behind me. I turned, startled.
There was a large dark bird, about two metres away from me (maybe 6 feet?). Immediately the crow in Castaneda's book came to mind. How uncanny – me seeing a crow in the forest! No, not a crow! Slowly it moved towards me, walking out across one of the branches, revealing itself. A Lyrebird! How incredible! What a treat! Often heard, seldom seen. And if seen, usually at great distance!
Initially I froze, I thought he mustn't have realised I was there (how stupid of me!). Next, he started talking directly to me – chattering away in a host of cryptic mimicks. Over and over he repeated the same bunch of expressions. A few distant Lyrebirds called back different chirps, but this one kept chanting the same thing over and over to me – looking straight at me! A few smaller birds came close too.
After I overcame the absolute delight at being so incredibly spoiled, I finally saw this situation for what it was. I am still in disbelief. It was, as in don Juan's example, an omen to me – a warning.
The tree had not been enough – I had still contemplated continuing on with the hike. But after the message from the Lyrebird, repeated so vigilantly over and over in my face, I finally understood this was danger city!!!
Suddenly, all the sounds of the forest became magnified. I became totally in tune with it. Sound, smell, sight – all became totally enhanced!
I clambered back through the fallen tree – and back up the track. It seriously felt like the forest was urging me. I knew it had protected me.
Darker it got, and I could hear the wind playing havock with the tree tops way above me. Eventually I made it back to my car just as torrential rain started pelting down.
On my trip home the radio kept failing – what a storm!
Castaneda, the Lyrebird, the tree – all had contributed to such an incredible moment!
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