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Message |
| Posted By: |
Taronga |
| Date: |
19-Sept-2000 |
| Subject: |
Parents - our teachers |
As I feel the warmth of peaceful meditations through me, I wonder what it is that being a woman meditator means – on the path, and how it may differ from the experiences of a man. I don’t really want to be a woman or a man, as I cannot see sex in light.
I remember as a child, and even now, how I never really thought of myself as a ‘girl’ or related to all things ‘girly’ or ‘boy-y’. I guess we are dealing with social conceptions of gender, and not internal differences. What am I? I am a curious construction.
I think of Rama. How he was strong, and yet non-male, how he was sensitive and soft, and non-female. Transcendant!
My biggest problem? MEN. What does that mean? I have several childhood and adult experiences which have been painfully related to members of the opposite sex. Who hasn’t! But is that psychology of this lifetime all that Rama was referring to? I don’t feel so. How much karma are we talking here? How can I try to unravel it?
Father problems. Parents. What a source of learning! There is a lot to resolve. I have been especially lucky to have had such adversity from mine! Our enemies are our greatest friends on the spiritual path -something I have heard often, but the power of the lesson is immense!
I had to search my heart to find the truth of Rama, and without such opposition I would not have been able to challenge what I believed with such honesty. Through difficulties with others and how they have perceived my practice I have learnt that compassion must prevail in all my relationships if I am to progress.
Forgiveness and understanding (or should it be knowing)
We all have to overcome our parental relationships, Rama said. He said as a son, he had to work through his relationship with his mother, and that I as a daughter, have to work through my relationship with my father. Reading the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying it says that during the process of rebirth if you are attracted to the male of the couple (parents) you will be born as a girl, and vica versa. I wonder if this is the start of the exploration? What have you learnt?
What fears to face, what knowledge awaits? Price enough, reward so much greater. That of freedom. Perhaps the most to treasure – to fly free!
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