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Message |
| Posted By: |
Fellow Warrior |
| Date: |
25-Nov-1999 |
| Subject: |
Chod |
hey, i'm interested in hearing some opinions on this...
Tibetan Chod practice involves techniques designed to eradicate fear through offering one's self to demons as sacrifice for their nourishment and
enlightenment. when i first heard of this practice, i thought, "oh! this one'll be easy!" and so when i found myself in really
frightening situations from that point on, i tried to imagine these demons ripping me apart. if i was really afraid, i imagined them looking like
giant, goofy, drooling muppets, for instance. sort of comical, so that i could actually do the frickin practice at all.
and i found that when i got beat-up in a dream. i could tell the person who beat me up that i loved them. i could kiss demons and vampires etc. and even tell them they're not real. it seemed to be working!
nevertheless, i've found this technique causes some conflict for me.
it seems as tho there are times in life when it's necessary to stand up for ourselves and kick some serious ass...times of self-defense for instance.
and so how do we draw the line, i wonder?
it can't be a little of both can it? because if it is, we're not sticking to one technique and this may result in it being ineffective. i don't know. maybe it can be? maybe the idea is to eradicate fear, but that having been done, we're free to kick some ass? i've not done that yet, so i couldn't tell ya. fear is a biggie, despite it being irrational.
kicking ass doesn't necessarily entail a lack of compassion, right? but hmm. if we're not fully awake/realized yet? how can we be completely sure our judgement in these matters is accurate?
and ya we could simply focus on seeing things in their true nature...illusory phenomena of mind, of course. but this doesn't necessarily negate the possibility of our being preyed upon by...well..you know, beings with malicious intent.
the Dhammapada says:
"I shall endure hard words
As the elephant endures the shafts in battle.
For many people speak wildly.
The tamed elephant goes to battle.
The king rides him.
The tamed man is the master.
He can endure hard words in peace."
now, altho i've agreed with this way of thinking, i've not always lived this way. and now that i'm trying really hard to live this way, i'm having
trouble lately with this way of thinking. it seems we circle back to the simplest stuff eventually and repeatedly.
i know facing adversity or adversarial people with an open kind heart and with clarity enough to be able to stay out of their eddy, to see it as if it
were happening on a screen, for example, is the only proper approach. but i can't help but see things the Arjuna/Bhagavad Gita way as well...going to war when it's necessary.
and i'm not sure if i'm being clear about the source of this conflict or not, but is it stupidity to offer our selves as sacrifice to 'demons'? or is it having a pure heart? i
don't know. and it's one thing when we're able to simply deal with the situation with presence and balance, but a whole nother when we just don't
have the option of walking away from it.
it's a tough call for me for some reason. i'm not sure if this would've even been possible, but if Tibet hadn't been so pacifistic, we might not have
lost such a sparkling resorvoir of spiritual lineage and Teachings to China's oppression.
and despite attempts to deal with adversity with balance and kindness and understanding, i still find that when someone is being cruel, i might maintain presence while it's happening, but later, and the next day, i feel as tho the very life
force of my being has been sucked-out of me or something. it can take awhile to recoup. so obviously, i haven't perfected the practice yet. (dammitt)
knowottamean? i don't think there's a right or wrong meaning to any of this, and yet, it seems necessary to fight sometimes in order to protect that which we consider pure and of value to the world spiritually.
so where do we draw the line i wonder?
do you think it's a situationally-based type of evaluation to be made, given what we've got at that moment to make the decision with?
ultimately, it's all about intent, i feel.
and yet, i've found myself in situations i simply cannot walk easily away from. and i've watched other students of dharma act in ways i consider cruel and then justify it with Bhagavad Gita concepts, apparently seeing it as even fruitful to their practice at times.
so...i'd be interested in any comments on this.
the heart is where it's at you know. and yet...how do we do this effectively, open it completely, without sacrificing ourselves to a dark age for no worthwhile cause whatsoever? it might even be easy to say, well, the self is empty anyhow, and what's death but another transition, for instance...but, i'm also aware that incarnation into a human body is considered very precious and difficult to acquire.
i think i actually worked some of this out while writing it but...
whatdyathink?
namaste.
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