In life it
seems one can never truly understand or appreciate something for what
it really is until it is gone.
We were so
content to bask in the glorious pure light of eternity made directly
available to us by Rama. We got so caught up in enjoying the magnificently
magical and beautiful realities and times he led us through, that
somehow the bigger picture of how blessed and fortunate we were --
to have the genuine article (Rama) so readily accessible -- went by
unnoticed. We didn’t see -- that we should stop wasting time and respect
the gift enough to maximize its potential by doing to the letter exactly
what we knew the dharma to be, the little truths we were all so graciously
reminded of on a daily basis by the Master.
I know that
for myself, a self confessed procrastinator, my rationale was always
to truly enjoy and experience the moment. While this is good, it requires
follow-through: doing sometimes unpleasant tasks and attending to
all of the little details that seem on the surface to be insignificant
or tedious and tiresome, but in reality are the basis of the teachings.
Putting off
probably the better part of the real work and riding the incredible
waves of light and the direct connection to eternity made available
by Rama - Dr. Frederick Lenz, I was certain I had all the time in
the world to perfect the "little stuff," the "little tasks" and details
that Rama, ever the master, would be gently advising us to do in so
many different and impeccable ways.
Rama always
showed us where the best surf was and how to catch beautiful and perfect
rides all the way to the shores of eternity. Never even to this day
have I not been shown how to paddle back out through the potentially
perilous breakers and been given access to the brilliant swells of
eternity.
We were so
fortunate to be allowed to see his magic in and on the mountains,
beaches, deserts and islands of this majestic planet, as well as receive
the countless gifts of affection Rama bestowed upon us all by allowing
us to be in his presence while viewing all the sights Maya (illusion)
has to offer. Rama showed us the world as it is to the enlightened,
taking us under his wing and sharing the other side of life that I
doubt any of us would have ever come close to had it not been for
his utter kindness.
All Rama ever
did and still does do is give. Even people who never learned what
true giving is continue to receive the gift of the master. How many
times have they knowingly or unknowingly been picked up, dusted off
and been gently placed back on the path, masterfully like the lion
uses its sharp teeth and powerful jaws to delicately snatch its cub
out of harm’s way and whisk it off to the safety of familiar ground.
Rama always gave and gave; all he ever asked in return was that we
take his teachings to heart, to really practice them with our whole
being, to never short-change ourselves and genuinely apply his art.
He said he was not always going to be there for us and that it was
important that we not forget what he was doing.
Anything that
Rama acquired in the form of physical possessions were small potatoes
and in no way compensatory to the level of human, spiritual, psychic
and mental sacrifices he made day in and day out for the vast majority
of his adult life. He would often say that he was nobody. While he
was indeed nobody -- emptiness, eternity, the Buddha, God -- whatever
you choose to call the ineffable, he still had a paper-thin sheet
of self left. The one who quietly picked up all the tabs. The one
who paid the energy bills, the one who absorbed the impact of all
the egos, the karmas and the bad vibrations out there. I would sometimes
catch a glimpse of this paper-thin man. For a fleeting moment while
leaving a lecture hall, after answering everyone’s questions, after
all of the crowds had left, exiting with his long stride, with a brief
glance out of the corner of his eye looking to a part of the room
were no one was, I could see Rama the man, the giver, the tired bill
payer thinking not of himself at all yet suffering all the same. Smiling
all the while with no one the wiser, Rama was always at his best for
us, always!
All I can
say to those who choose to speak ill of him is that they miss the
mark completely. They allowed the bountiful energy given to them to
fuel their miseries and confusions rather than use it to remove them.
Rama was a Kundalini Master of the highest order and to be afforded
the privilege of directly studying with him has its price. You must
mind the store. You must keep the pettiness of the world out of your
practice and out of your mind. Or else it will consume you and make
you see things incorrectly and cause you to stray from the path, as
it has unfortunately done to some. Yet in the end even they will I’m
sure be well taken care of.
My Master
has gone and I am left alone. No more can I count on seeing him in
the physical again. It haunts me to realize that my hopes of one day
going to him in a perfect state of mind and saying, "See what you
have done!" are not going to play out exactly as I’d hoped. However
the fact that he is no longer in his body as I knew him to be does
not change in any way the presence of his light that I have always
felt so deeply.
Having had
the honor and privilege of being accepted as a student of Rama’s has
given me a view of life that very few people ever get a chance to
see. For that I am serenely, ever in his debt. I was accepted as his
student at the age of thirteen. I had nary a whisker on my body, yet
I knew and understood immediately what he was saying. He changed me
forever the moment we met. I have, as so many of us have, been blessed
by my interactions with Rama -- the man, the master, the child, the
saint, the comedian and scholar of the highest order, and all the
other facets of eternity he so masterfully manifested for us all.
Rama can never really be gone because that which he is, was here long
before any of can imagine and will be here long after each of us has
passed.
The tranquility
and peace of mind I experience is a direct result of my exposure to
Rama. All I have done is practice his teachings, probably with only
one tenth of the effort I should have. As a result, I have been afforded
nothing short of a magical and beautiful life the likes of which,
with the exception of Rama’s other students, I can say with all honesty
I rarely see in any other being. I have always been and will always
be Rama’s disciple and defender of the faith. I play my drum for thee
Rama, I play my drum for thee, pa rap pa pa pum rap pa pa pum rap
pa pa pum !
-- David Utley
